N is for New Year, New You

A new year is a chance for changes.  Change is always a bit intimidating.  Intimidating for me. Moving out of my comfort zone and making commitments that I know up front are going to be hard to keep.  Wondering why it is all so hard.  Several posts back, I  announced my new word (gratitude).  I managed 24 hours of gratefulness, before freezing weather came once again and I’m up to my ears in my own unwanted complaints.  (It’s just a little bit of bad weather, so I should be able to deal with it.)

All my writing is getting me thinking seriously.  Permit a comparison with swimming and commitment: Sometime I choose to sit at the edge, never going to the deep end of the pool.  Just treading water, never letting myself get fully immersed in the experience.

For years I sat on the edge dangling feet and legs into the pool unable to take the plunge,  fearful to go deeper. Early in life I was tossed into a lake (a bit of fun for the tossers, but terror for the tossee.)  It was not until I was in my twenties and under the tutelage of a patient and compassionate teacher that I finally learned to not only stay afloat, but to love diving off the deep end.

But  now an analogy;  how learning to swim is like living;  being thrown into the water did not teach me to swim.  I had to realize that it was up to me.  Put my fears aside and just plunge in.  I can’t say that I did become a fearless swimmer, but I did learn to conquer my fear.

So now I’m facing NY resolutions; fearing that I can’t live up to my own inner critic keeps me on the edge.

And I can’t say I’ll become  fearless , but I’m learning to quiet the voices.

The thing is, facing the fear is a beginning.




4 thoughts on “N is for New Year, New You

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